My "Losing" Battle

It's something I struggle with on a daily, no - hourly basis . . . something I HATE fighting for. The battle to lose weight.

This is my "goal" photo - it was taken spring or early summer of 2002. I have it hanging on my bathroom mirror, along with updates on my "progress" . . . right there for me to look at throughout the day (it's been a while since I posted a new progress sheet). The first time I started the battle back in 2001, I wanted to prove that it wasn't my fault that I was overweight - I wanted Weight Watchers to fail so I could prove there was some reason out of my own control that was keeping me from ever looking good in jeans. I knew I could do whatever WW required of me for one week. But when I returned with a weight loss, I figured I could do it one more week, and honestly by week 3 I was sold. So I took off full-force, never looking back. I began working for Weight Watchers about the same time I reached my goal and from then through December of 2006, it was a huge part of my life. Even through my pregnancy with Jackson - but when I became pregnant with Aidan - I knew I needed to cut something back - it wouldn't fit with my life at this stage to work outside the home and be the mom I wanted for these 4 great kids.

So even though I was a WW leader for 4 1/2 years, even though I weighed less than I did in High School, even though I was named "Alaska Leader of the Year" a couple years ago, even though I LOVED wearing a size I never thought I would get into - I HATE that I have to think about food every single day for the rest of my life!!!

It is and will always be a battle. And as of right now, I'm not winning. SO - here are the top 10 things I use to sabotage my own fight to loose this weight.

10. Holiday Candy - why do they do it? Why do they make cute little packaging for typical candy just because it's a holiday? Any Holiday! Because they know that Mini Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are impossible to pass by when they are in pastel Easter colored foil. What's next? Labor-day-color mini Snickers?

9. Starbuck's Non-fat White Hot Chocolate - You may be thinking - non-fat, how can that be keeping you from shedding the pounds? Moderation - never heard of it!

8. Iced Pumpkin Cookies - You have to know that when I was pregnant with Aidan, I drove up to one of those little coffee shacks - no . . . I never have and never will drink coffee - but I knew they had other things, so I got my first White Hot Chocolate AND an Iced Pumpkin Cookie. Um . . . heavenly combo! And because they are "seasonal," I think I needed to tank up to get me through to the next season!

7. Red Robin Fries - There's this addictive seasoning they put on those things - an addictive seasoning that you can purchase for $5.00 a bottle so you can spice up the fries at home (and taco meat, and fajitas and anything else that sounds good) and feed the addiction in the comfort of your own kitchen . . . cuz they never make it to the dining room! Is there a 12 step program for this?

6. Dairy Queen Snicker's Blizzard - I may very well break a tooth with that frozen nutty, caramel goodness, but it would be a dentist bill well worth it!

5. Cinnamon Rolls - Since I got over the fear and taught myself how to make bread, I've been "practicing." OK - I just love anything bread-y. And for mother's day . . . I made myself cinnamon rolls. Nothing like pulling them out of the oven, drizzling on that icing and just forking it out of the pan - I dream of it for days after as my tongue heals from the burn.

4. Whip Cream - You know what I'm talking about, right? On Swedish Pancakes (that's crepes for you non-Scandinavians), waffles, animal crackers, and even just squirted right in the mouth - that stuff is fabulous!

3. Cake Batter - Yep - raw eggs and all. But it has to be a yellow or white cake mix. It's everything right with an edible substance . . . texture, smell, taste - I sometimes make cupcakes just so I can lick the beaters . . . and bowl . . . and spatula . . . 

2. Starbuck's Reduced-Fat Cinnamon Coffee Cake - Again - Reduced-Fat, what could be so bad about that? Well, depends on how much fat there was to begin with, right? That coffee cake is SO moist, so yummy . . . I have been known to find excuses to go out late just to patronize the Starbuck's drive-in window.

1. Spanky Whatermiers - Let me translate - Otis Spunkmeir Chocolate Chip Cookies. I couldn't remember the name once, and in the midst of a craving, a new title for those frozen wonders emerged. Just pop the pre-shaped cookies in the oven and you have perfectly shaped, perfect chip-proportion cookies in 20 minutes. They are nothing but trouble, I tell ya'!!!!

So here I am, less than 10 lbs from my current goal . . . and I can't get the umph to be good two weeks in a row. But reviewing this list makes me hungry - I'm going to start being good tomorrow!

What color is my thumb?

I guess we'll find out. This past Saturday, Dan and I spent the latter half of the day out in the yard - The only gardening experience I have is during childhood - weeding between the carrots on Wednesdays in the summer as a prerequisite to swimming at my cousins'. My grandfather was an expert gardener, but as with a lot of things my grandparents or parents did - I didn't take advantage of learning from the master.

Fortunately, I have a friend that's passionate about gardening and already has dreams about how my yard will look, complete with the rustic, mossy gardening bench the previous home owners left - filled with eclectic plants and containers, visible from my kitchen window.

So far, I've "cleaned out" the beds - to the best of my knowledge. I don't know if I did it right, I don't know if I pulled something I shouldn't have, I don't know if I left weeds thinking they will sprout beautiful foliage native to Alaska. But what I do know is that it was FUN - yes, fun - to be out there in the beautiful spring weather - playing in the dirt, evening out the beds, and dreaming of what could bloom. I know that I enjoyed playing with some of the funky gardening tools the previous owners left along with the bench - even if they aren't what I was supposed to use. I think I've found another obsession, did I say obsession, I mean passion, er - hobby. 

Mother's Day Top 10

I hope everyone out there is having a great mothers' day - we're having a pretty good one here. I got a single ticket to the Trace Adkins concert coming up in a couple weeks - and got the news that about 4 or 5 of my girlfriends also got a ticket - our husbands set up a girl's night! How cool is that?????? (Major kudos on that gift!) I also got breakfast in bed and countless beautifully homemade cards and letters.

 Dan had to speak in church today and it was a fabulous talk. He continues to make me fall in love with him. I am so glad to have him as my husband. It didn't hurt that he said (and I quote) "my wife is a perfect mother and wife." I told him today that I'm sorry I've sentenced him to a lifetime of proving how much he loves me . . . sorry for him, that is - not for me - I'm the beneficiary!

ANYWAY - on to the reason for the post - I wanted to list the top 10 reasons I love my own mother and my mother-in-law . . . so here goes:

{Photo taken June 2005 - Grandma Meryl Lynn and Emery}

Top 10 reasons why I love my mom:

10. She packed and unpacked for camping (countless times) - without me ever hearing her complain! 

9.  She taught me how to sew.

8. I grew up with bottled garlic-dill pickles, green beans and peaches.

7. She absolutely loves my children.

6. She makes it a priority to come visit.

5. She is being a good example to my kids by serving a mission.

4. She's been known to give up her master room for visitors (we've benefited a couple times).

3. She never deprived me of Twinkies.

2. She was there when I miscarried, right by my side with love, faith and prayers.

1. She has always given me a safe place to live, to express my feelings, to learn, to grow and to feel the Savior's love.

{Photo taken August 2007 - Grandma Dorothy and Aidan}

Top 10 reasons why I love my Mother-in-law:

10. She raised a group of 8 fabulous kids - who are happy, humorous and full of life.

9. She loves to be surrounded by her kids and grandkids.

8. She never forgets to send birthday cards.

7. Did I mention she gave birth EIGHT times?

6. One time I was home (in Utah) without Dan and she gave up her own room for me and the kids.

5. She took Harrison (when he was 19 months) with her (by herself) on a flight from Vermont to Utah so I could take my own flight with just my newborn Emery.

4. She is - and always has been a hard worker.

3. She has always made me feel like a worthy daughter-in-law. 

2. She came up here for a few weeks before and after Aidan's birth and was a HUGE help to me.

1. She raised my husband - an amazing man who loves and respects women - who treats his wife better than she could ever deserve!

A Beautiful Mess

So my space that has to always be organized and clean is a MESS right now. But let me tell ya' - it's a great feeling! This past Saturday I spent the ENTIRE DAY at More Than a Memory for National Scrapbook Day - yes people, we celebrate it with a holiday - get over it! So I was among other creative nuts all day long - enjoying the time away from mom and wife duty - getting my "girlfriend" bucket filled all day long. Granted, I always feel like I don't get as much done as I should - without distractions I should at least have doubled my productivity, but I will say I'm VERY happy with what I got done. 

This is an album I completed with photos I recently took of Emery - she just turned 7 so I interviewed her with random questions that she can look back on and get a pretty good idea of what she was like at this age.

Isn't she gorgeous!?!?!?!?!?!?! 

I am more into "theme" or "mini" albums now - they seem to have more meaning to me than a big chronological book. I don't think chronologically, so I can't scrap that way anymore.

I did get a couple other projects done, but can't post them because they are gifts - maybe after the recipients get them.

Dining Room

So the dining room is now this really mellow slate green. (It was previously yet another really strange - but different blue! Including the ceiling!)  At certain times of day in the right lighting, when you look from the kitchen into the dining room, it seems like the color is exactly the same - so the transition is perfect. I love it! My issue now is trying to figure out what kind of window treatments I want for that beautiful bay window. Any suggestions?

The dining room has this great french door into the Living Room (or as previously dubbed - the  Home Teacher Room).

Have I mentioned lately how much I absolutely LOVE my house???????

Master Suite

This is my second favorite room in the house - but depending on the time of day, it creeps up way past my scrap room - it's a beautiful sanctuary. This is not part of the original house and whoever decided to add on was a genius! It is HUGE! Our Queen bed took up our entire room in the condo and here . . . it looks so tiny. We've yet to add furniture or decor - but as you can see, the nook area is occupied by one 9 month old and his many necessities.

My Kitchen

So here's a shot of the kitchen . . . after painting walls and replacing cupboard knobs. It was previously a REALLY strange "country" blue - including the ceiling. I dunno why these people painted all the ceilings - maybe they were too lazy to do a good edge job - but I've had to do as many ceilings as walls. The knobs were that bright brassy gold. Ick. 

Dan was worried when I had the dark paint swatches out - but I think the dark taupe works with the white cupboards (and so does he). We got a new stainless fridge (you can barely see it there on the right) and eventually we'll get a range/microwave to match as well as new tile - the current floor is . . . drum roll, please - blue.